this is NOT the last episode
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Welcome to Growing Pains I'm your host ginger join me and my best friend as we talked about growing up we try not to break down
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Hello Growing Pains now you may be wondering why is the audio quality bad again?
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We're doing everything Wow. Anything possibly like to make it sound worse?
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Oh, it's because we're recording on my phone because we couldn't make it to the studio.
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It's study week, so you know, nobody's available? Yeah, I'm only available because I took a break.
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Me too. And then we got Chipotle and then we got crumbled cookies. Yeah,
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we're on some crazy but back activities.
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Back moments.
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I needed to take my mind off of all the work I was like doing like it was really killing my brain. All the numbers I was looking at dude, I needed to stop
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it's so guys it's so bad. Like I wish I could be like it's so stupid typical
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stereotypical of like, oh, finals are coming up like we want to die and we want to Glock and
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mouth. It's actually bet every one is surely one right now. Like ask
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every single one of the girls. It's really bad. Like really bad. Yeah, we're
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all sure we're fine, though.
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Please don't call like CPS are
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adults. Please don't take me a grown woman.
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Dude. So this is the last episode of the second season for a long time for a while because we have the summer guys and we're not doing this over the summer, unfortunately. But that means we're gonna have really great stories. So
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this summer, we're saying we're not saying no, we're going out every chance. I mean, not like that. I mean, like any chance to like do something I'm gonna be like, Yeah, okay, that doesn't that doesn't also sounds really bad. Didn't that didn't help me at all. But you know what I mean? Like, we're gonna be doing everything. I'm also going to be stalking my paper because I'm so so broke. Right? What was that?
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Sorry, someone had to crack a window open. Oh, we're
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in the car. Oh, yeah, guys, we're
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in the car to mention after we had our big bag activities
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like everyone's looking at us, guys. Everyone is looking at a system really embarrassing. We just saw a guy pull up his ass. Oh.
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There's no way he just bent over right.
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He's naked now. To think they believed me. They picked a crack in front of us.
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So what we're going to talk about, yeah, what
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are we talking about? Well, guys, we have made it through freshman year.
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Oh my gosh, you're so right.
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I wish we tried to get as many people as we could but just mean Kylie today, because, again, everyone else is studying. If you did mention
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this, the other like a while ago, you were like, technically like the first time we've ever finished a senior year. Yeah. Because last time our senior year we are all freshmen freshman year. Oh, yeah. freshmen. Because our freshman year was COVID. Yeah. And we never even finished it. And I know we I think we probably mentioned the topic. But uh, I mean, this is our first real semester. We're also finishing because of what happened. Our fall semester. Yeah, it's true. Like, are frightening. They're real. Like, no, didn't really finish. It was kind of abrupt. It was abrupt. And it was like,
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I don't know, it just felt.
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I think that's probably why this is felt like gears like, this was felt like so long ago has been awful. Like I couldn't have like I literally couldn't find the motivation to do much of anything. No, why. And it sucks
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because like, this was freshman year, like, this is our first year. Yeah, I
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talked to an advisor and he was like, How do you feel, you know, finish your freshman year. I was like, I was like, I've mixed feelings about it. But you know, I feel like so much happened. He was like better enjoy it because it just flies by like, thanks.
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Dude. That's true, though. I think I feel like that's how high school was. It was like so quick. I'm just so ready for like us to be graduating. I know that sounds crazy. But yeah, guys, you experienced her freshman year, which was like, I think we had again I wish we had the podcast at the perfect moment because so much happened to each of
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us. Yeah. Fall semester was the best time for like it was So,
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like worst time, but also the bay we're all
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dying like if last semester we were like dying due to like other reasons this semester, like academically I think we were all just like in a crazy spot,
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which is so funny because we tried to lock in guys, I promise you we try to log in Yeah.
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And I didn't It's not like we I feel like saying like we really tried. We don't have any context behind that because we are freshmen but we're not taking freshman classes. I think that's a huge I don't think we ever get context of that because we're all really Yeah, so guys,
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we a majority will me Kylie Ashley Gianna. We had gone to Nevada State High School, which is dual enrollment. Yeah. Which is dual enrollment. So we were taking classes at CSN for our junior and senior year. So
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I feel like the RE re entered UNLV with over 30 credit. Yeah,
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me too. I got my Associates. Oh, you actually graduated. Oh, that's crazy. So I think that's why like we're experiencing such crazy burnout as freshmen. I mean, I'm not to say like Bill other freshmen is experiencing it. But like we're experiencing like junior year burnout. I
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want to know something else that I feel like I've come to like, realize I experience a lot lately. I have such a crazy sense of like imposter syndrome. When I'm in my class. Me too. Because I'm surrounded in my higher level like journalism classes. I'm surrounded by everyone who's been going through these courses for two plus years. And I feel like they be even though we're at the same spot. Yeah, I feel like they have experienced, like, people have already done internships and I'm like, I feel so behind. I don't feel like I know what I'm doing. Which I mean, I don't I think my grades reflect that. Maybe I do know what I'm doing because I have good grades. No, yeah, Kylie is really
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really like, sorry, not to cut you off, but you're really naturally talented. Like, skilled at what your major is.
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Thanks. Keep going.
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Um, you're like, amazing and beautiful. Oh my god, really? Keep going? You're a clean and I was gonna I was gonna call you a Jewish clean but you're not even Jewish clean. You're amazing, talented, funny Jewish. Because I tell that the more I'm not Jewish, she's not Jewish. She's Catholic. Um, that wasn't weird. Sorry, guys.
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But yeah, I do feel like I faced like, I experienced a lot of sense of imposter syndrome. And that's like, something I really struggled with this semester. Because I'm like, I'm over here scrambling like thinking I have to be applying to all these internships and you know, felt like all this stuff. When like, I'm so ahead, I'm the youngest. And I don't want to like sound like, you know, super, like. I didn't want to sound like super like, not like narcissistic, or, you know, big ego. But like, realistically, we are ahead. So I don't know. I feel like I'm ahead. But like, at what cost because I also feel like I'm so behind everyone. I
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think what's hard, too, is like, we are around, not just like people are ahead, but we are around like 20 year olds, like, smart. So I'd have to cut you off my arm around me is so smart. But you are at that same level for a reason. And like, I think it's hard because like my classes, a lot of them are like 20 year olds or older or like I had moms in my class. And like, I think there's a level of disconnect that I'm feeling. And I shouldn't be like, I don't know why cuz I should be like, Oh, no, I'm fine. I'm ahead. But yeah, there's a weird sense of falling behind that. Because I'm like, in a class with all these 20 year olds, and they have like, like CNA jobs or something like
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that. They're all just like, I feel like like, Wow, am I doing something wrong? I'm not I don't have the same I'm not in an internship. I don't have all this.
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So you are freshly 19. And I want to air them out even. No kidding. They're still at 18. And like a majority of these, like, internships are literally me.
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They're like, literally like about to throw up. They ate so much, guys.
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A bunch of two kids walked by, they look like they're gonna pee. So for context, but like, I think, what was I saying? Yeah, just saying you're 18 Yeah, I
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just think, I don't know. It's like, I, I feel like I have an expectation of where I should be because of these other people. And then I'm like, holy crap of 18. This is my freshman year. I think people a lot of people are shocked when we tell them that we're freshmen. Yeah, at least I find that a lot. Like a lot of people are like, what you're like your freshman or what you're 18 Yeah, it's like I feel proud. But also like, shit, do I know what I'm doing? Yeah, that's
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exactly how even though I've, we've very, like we've worked to that. It's just so I mean, hopefully it'll go away with time but I think what's odd were the like the case study, like the perfect fit for like, um, like, gifted child burnout.
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You know, literally I feel that I feel like I'm burning out and like, yeah, it's because I had so long like, I had been in my head about finishing getting it done like, do it, just do it, just do it. And I took on like five classes last semester. And like, it was just horrible. I was like, Holy crap, and I like had to talk to my dad. He's like, you're rushing for no reason. He's like, you are getting it done. Like, what, by the time you're like, 21, when most people get it done when they're like later 20s Yeah. And so like, I don't know, I, I just think, Oh, another part of it. What I was going to mention, is like this idea of like, I feel like I don't have experience. Yeah, that's exactly. Because we're so young. We don't of course, we don't have the experience with these funny roles half but they can get internships. I'm not in a place where I'm 18 I can get an internship right now with no experience.
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Yeah, that's exactly how it feels. But
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it's weird. I enjoyed I enjoyed my freshman year for the most part.
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I definitely did. I mean, fall semester, I think fall semester is just so different, and so much more fun. It was so I was dying. But I had a lot of fun. This semester, I just experienced like a crazy, like sense of burnout. And by April, I had no completely No, but like I dropped a course I had no motivation to like finish anything. And I'm wondering, like,
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as listeners on podcast for you guys have seen this progress. Like if you've seen like,
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please tell me it gets better. Please, please. But like, yeah,
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the you've been with us through freshman year, and we'll be here sophomore year, we plan on continuing. But um, we might I would
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love to rebrand. And yes, I have a whole new like chapter.
Unknown Speaker 11:31
I don't not say we'll leave this behind. But if we decide to branch out on our own thing. Yeah, definitely be like a video aspect. I would love to do a video. And you know what, this is the last episode. Sorry, don't worry about saying it. We really don't like certain restrictions on what we can say and can't say, so did you? But like, you know, maybe we'll do our
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own thing. Because, like, certain restriction that does want us back from a lot of things that
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we haven't talked about. And obviously, I know there's deadlines that are supposed to happen, but we would love to like really, like be passionate about nothing. We're not passionate about what our podcast was. We lost a little bit of smart guys. I was talking to Wes shout out west. And I was telling him like, Dude, we made it to spring semester but like we don't know what to talk about. And like, I know that last few episodes so proud of and so proud of us but like they've been a little bit like mindless rambling. Yeah, so no structures home like I feel like yeah should have which is why I think yeah, I'll rebrand would be a lot better for us if you want to continue it. And I me personally, I
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do want to continue it because I think it's a fun way to track our progress. And
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you know, so watch out for a rebrand and follow us on Instagram at
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Growing Pains gram.
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You're gonna see your personal Do you Riversleigh
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o m KXLIX
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e. Mine is it's dot v dot jindee. So just so you guys can keep out on a more personal level. But yeah, my degree to use and actually, dude, Kylie is really naturally good at this stuff. I mean, you're okay not to like say anything, but it was me and you who started this? Loki. Girls, I know. We haven't had I mean, there's a lot of people like we haven't seen in a while they died. But like, Yeah, this is our freshman year. So
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I wish you could have had everyone join us.
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I know. Oh, maybe I'll put clips of them saying something here. Okay, no one's getting this one. All right. There's no clips. I should put crickets. Yeah, that was that was our clips from the Oh, we didn't do song with the other people. Oh, what's the song of the week?
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Do you just wondering if by the end?
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You guys have a little surprise waiting for you.
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Kelly, what would you say you learned freshman year?
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Um, I mean, like, academics aside, I think I did learn especially like that I am like, passionate about like what I'm learning. Regardless of if I do, like, I do feel like sometimes it is like aimless and I don't know where it's gonna go. I get little glimpses here. And then I'm like, Oh, I can do something with this.
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Which is good. Because I think it's scarier to have the opposite of being like, oh my god, I can't go anywhere. Yeah,
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and then and I guess like, rigged, disregarding academics like I think personally, what I've learned is that like, I don't know, just some things aren't as important as I used to think they were. Yeah, things completely shifted. For me. I
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think my frontal lobe is developing, literally developed and like, it's gonna be stunted. I feel like I did. Definitely
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yeah, I'm definitely going to be like a Team forever. But like, Oh, I think that's a good point.
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I think our mindsets have changed for me. I got an overall level not even just like academic or personal. I really just grew up. I know that's like so cheesy, grow up, grow up and feel the pain. And that's why it's called Growing Pains. Sorry, that was deleted. But I think like, this is the first time I've ever been like, like, seriously looking at my future and being like, oh my gosh, like, I need an apartment. And where am I going to move to? Where am I going to end up? Am I get married? And what's my career you will look like? Like, this is the first time sound. I know I don't want this to sound sad. But this is the first time where I was like, I don't feel like a kid anymore. Yeah,
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definitely write really good. Oh my god, do you kind of like encapsulate that really? Well, like, recently? Yeah, I feel like that, like one of my life. Like, I'm gonna be 20 next year, that point in my life. Like, that's, it's almost done. Like my, I we're still in like our youth phase of our life. And but you know, like, teenage youth, it's going to be done soon. And we're going to be in our 20s I don't really feel like it's, I guess for us that that is irrelevant. I mean, no, Vicki just turned 20 So that's, it's so. So like, we're all really young. Honestly, we're all really young. And I know, probably if anyone's older, like, I don't think we're gonna be like old and senile, and, you know, lose it like, like early on, like dementia and stuff. geriatric. Yeah. But like, definitely, like, it is like, I don't have that. I'm not like, oh, like, I loved being 17. But I'm not 17 anymore.
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I think like the all the time getting choked up, I guess. I know. I literally did. I like I think about what I was 17 Everything. I felt everything I went through. And it's so easy to be 17 the things
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that worries me the most is like, like, I'm glad I worried about them. Because, you know, I can look back and be like, she was stupid, but it was like it was like, it's like, I look back and I laugh. Yeah.
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I think it's weird because these like, decisions we're making right now completely affect our future. Okay,
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thanks for saying, I'm sorry. It's truly yesterday. Like now we're at a crossroads.
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Like when I was 17. And I didn't turn in an essay for English one. Oh, whatever. Like in freshman year? Yeah. It was like not super unbelievably detrimental. Okay, do your schoolwork everybody but like, you know, now it's like, if I don't do a certain course, right? This directly affects my career. Because these are the classes that matter. Not saying that high school didn't matter. But
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like sure, yeah, these are the classes that I mean, we're paying for it. That are important. And you guys
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moves out. Like, um, I think there's a different aspect of like, growing up for you guys, because you guys are on your own.
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So yeah, it's been, it's been so fun. I vicariously live through you guys on purpose. It's been so fun. Like genuinely like going home. Seeing like the room I built for my like my little
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space. There's a really cute room. Yeah,
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I think you might have the cutest room. Okay, I do love my room actually just put up all the decorations. I bought real at the like the antique shops the other dates so like yeah, colors are really cute. And then Gianna got me like a sexy priests towel. Straight from Italy. Literally friend. I have it up right now. And it's like, right. It's so cute. I love it. Yeah, I love the space I created. I love that. I get to go to a place that we've created a lot of memories with all of us. So literally, I
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think like, I don't know, every Growing Pains story has, like, really good stories have stemmed from that room, or that apartment.
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Should I say the number I was about to be like, yeah, no, yeah, I'm not gonna say that. I'm really it's kind of weird. But um, even if, like 10 years down the road say we're all not close, which Oh my god. I'm not. I'm not saying that like a pessimistic view. I'm just saying like, you never know. Like, I realistically truly don't think that we won't be close. But yeah, say you know, like, 20 years down the road. We are off on our own like, yeah,
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like us. We're gonna
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think back to like, that moment where part of this is like, these are like the good times. Yeah. Oh, the apartment. Yeah. Like, I hate to feel like sad and nostalgic about things that haven't passed yet. Already feeling nostalgic about you know, I think like, that's kind of my life.
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One of the things I've always done and like, I think that's something I regretted when I was growing up, because I would always be like, Oh my god, I'm gonna be so sad that this is over. I'd be so worried because this is my anxiety. Like, I'd be like, Oh, like this is gonna be so sad. Like, this isn't gonna last forever. Like graduation is like happening. Oh my gosh. Like now I've just I think I've learned to slow down because I had to force myself to Yeah, see, I would do the opposite. I feel like in high school, I
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was so so ready to grow up. If I were to do that part again. I would slow down a little bit and do a lot things differently.
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You Don't look up to, because you know what it was for me. All I needed was confidence back then. Yeah. Oh my god if I was confident over for everybody, I think what I struggle with when I was younger was like, I hated being not taken seriously because of my age. So I had always tried so hard to act older. And now I miss being 17 Yeah, I'm so so bad. Yeah, thank you guys for listening. This like making a podcast has been one of the, like, funniest. It's not fun, but like, also like, I don't know, it's like helped me like have an outlet from my STEM classes. Yeah, you
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do something a little different. Do you ever have to look at your microbiology stuff every single day?
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Have you? Did you ever think Growing Pains would wouldn't make it here? Honestly,
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no, I don't think I'm gonna be real. I thought I'm I'm not even saying this. I thought they would have like, took it away from us by No, really? I thought they would have been like, okay, cool. Thanks for filling the spot. But you know, we're gonna we're gonna fill it up with something else now, but it really has become like a something that lasted longer than I thought it does.
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Because like, even like shadow Jason, he like will ask me like, Oh, how's your podcast doing? Do you have a spot for next year? Guys, we'll keep it going. We're doing our best. You're seeing us through the growing and through the pain. And right now we're just gonna call a low point, but we're just like, on a
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different point. It's just the end of the semester, spring semester, but I
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hope this summer is good because then we'll have something really really good this
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last summer. I wish we did an episode about last summer. I know I feel like we talked about a lot of things that happened in the summer but we never really went into last summer. For me personally. Last summer was the best summer of my summer with a summer before freshman year of college was the best summer I've ever had so far. Hopefully I can beat it this year but like yes so summer
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was so good. Honestly, I see like summer fall of last year like melded into one for me. And I feel like that was like one of the best from
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May to like literally like November yes such a golden time Yeah,
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love you guys
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Yeah, can you tell we're really trying to like like get this like out I'm
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not gonna lie in the back of my mind is like studying Yeah,
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dude I'm literally thinking like I'm doing like the mental like bullet lists in my head about what I have to do when I get back
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yeah
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oh, I think the online oh my god dude what made
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me have like such bad bad study habits I think it was literally my online year
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Oh, I think the online oh my god the online you're ruined me ruined me. It ruined me. And then I hate to be because I've like talked to so many people I like failed a couple classes online year a lot for like context. But I like to have talked to a few people in who had you know, obviously also experienced online you're like, how did you fail like my GPA? Like, like, I know, people that got into like, actually don't want to say this because it's kind of like Loki like, putting them on the spot. But I just know people that like the online year like, that really helped them. I don't even like they're like, how did you struggle that year when it was so easy? Like it was I don't even
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know if it helped them. But I think that it depends on the teachers too, because some teachers are so like, I don't know what to do. You guys are all passing
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out. That wasn't the issue for me. If I had a teacher like that, like I had a few teachers that like bless their hearts, I really didn't like they just did. Just in that year. Not only was it like a terrible year, because it was on the years COVID year, it was a tough year for me like personally, like a lot of stuff happened in my life at that time, which I really think that like maybe my brain has some like malformations or something because of that, because like a lot of stuff happened. And I was just literally like to this day, I think that was like one of my lowest points. Yeah, at least I can think of but like I had to go into therapy, not because the result of that. But like, because of that time. I think a lot of people can relate to that, you know, yeah, that
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was that's what I started going through everything like mental health wise, like that's what I started facing
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everything I used to like I had outlets for that I was I was big sports. But like it was killing me at that time. But if we didn't have the online year, I would still be doing it. But like I wouldn't ever have the motivation to stop, you know. So like the online year, like kind of forced me to like, I didn't have an outlet. I didn't have anything to do. And it just I kind of just sat there like every single day and I was like, wow, it just made me realize a lot of things. And it was a really rough time.
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I think like what's weird about the online year too, is the impact of online courses and like asynchronous classes, because now I know people who only take online courses and
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good for them but I can't take an online course like for me,
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I because I know there's this new wave of people prefer that. And it was it was so detrimental on me academically, because I wouldn't I didn't care enough to put on my Computer and watch like a Google meet. It was so difficult, like, yeah, there was nothing that grabbed me, because I already get really distracted easily. Like I already have a little form of ADHD. I can't sit still and it's really bad. But like, I just I don't know. It's so funny to see that year. But yeah, so this is our first like real freshman year we're finishing out. And then we're gonna have our first real sophomore year, we didn't Oh my god, we didn't have a size. We didn't have a sophomore year in person. So we'll have a sophomore year in college. But well, I'll be fine. Yeah, um, do
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you ever think about I think about this a lot, because I have younger siblings, and I really actively see it. But like, do you ever think about like, the generation that like went through like their, like, formative like their real life formative years, like two years doing online school? I think I thought all the time, like my brother. He has like ADHD. And obviously, I don't think that year like made him have ADHD, like, it's obviously like, is a genetic thing. It
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can be more common, but like, yeah, it's just an intention. Yeah,
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I think for for my family, it was like more genetic. So obviously, it would have had it regardless. But I really think that year, just was really tough on him. And I'm like, I'm wondering how it is. I wonder like, what studies they're gonna do, do 1015, even five years down the line,
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you can kind of tell like, my son, my brother's a year younger than me. But that means his freshman year of high school was completely online, which was a brutal, brutal like that. That's like a brutal transition. Yeah. To have one year online. And like, they had like a senior awards night. And they talked about that all nine year. And I was like, that's crazy. Because I think freshmen like that jump from middle school to high school was so huge for me at least I remember starting high school. And but for us, we were lucky enough to have like a transition to college very easily. Because I know people were it's like shocking. Like it's a little jolting. Like when you go from public high school to
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college. I can't even imagine like, obviously, it's different because we already did all of our Gen Ed's before. Yes. But I would be so unmotivated to log on and do my English one on one courses.
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Right now.
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Apology course. Like I would have no motivation to go from high school to literally doing like, math 120 Like I can't like I like Sorry, like, I'm glad I'm so happy. We got them out of the way.
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I think like schooling to our generation, like school itself, like, has a completely different kind of, I don't know, it's just like, it's so I think we learned that it's so easy not to do things and then just suffer the consequences. Or I think a lot of us just do things very, very last minute. But yeah, procrastination procrastination. Anyway, so thank you for listening to the last episode of season two growing pains. Sorry, the audio is not as good and sorry that we still ramble on mindlessly. But it was a good one.
Unknown Speaker 27:49
This was a good one provided you guys a lot of insight.
Unknown Speaker 27:51
Yes. So you'll see us do the next time for months. Yeah, the next time you see us, we're gonna be sophomores and we're gonna be like, guys, because what happened over summer, I'm really excited for my courses. Yeah, it'll be fun. But thank you guys for listening. And thank you for watching our freshman year. If you guys are listening to this live on the radio, I highly recommend checking out our Spotify. It's called Growing Pains. And you can listen to our very first episodes and you'll see where are we got to now how we got here. Yeah,
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but um, pretty much thank you. We didn't do Sorry.
Unknown Speaker 28:26
Guys, we have a surprise for you. I mentioned earlier and I know I did my whole cheesy OUTRO Thank you so much. Okay, song of the week or grandpa
Unknown Speaker 28:34
someone was knocking on the window of the week. Um, I'm a Mum Mum Mum Mum Mum Mum. I think a song I'm going to end on my very last song for the for our podcast at least for a while going into summer is same old mistakes by Rihanna. Oh, oh, that's a good one for like a brand new person still making the same. Oh,
Unknown Speaker 28:59
I can't wait for some of you. I'm a song I have to put is recommended by Wes and he is sorry, sorry. Yeah. It got a little bit cut off right now. Okay. Oh, we got a little cut. Sorry. But uh, so I want to recommend is from West called cards on the table by Nia archives. He sent it to me it is really good. It's actually really good. Wes has really great music taste
Unknown Speaker 29:25
but very like, not obscure, but like like she's like she underground. buried underground. When you say underground like real life. Like this is a real life underground. Well,
Unknown Speaker 29:36
what do you want to say? Um, hopefully
Unknown Speaker 29:38
I'll still be alive.
Unknown Speaker 29:44
Thank you so much for listening to growing pains. You can follow us on Instagram at Growing Pains gram or on tick tock Growing Pains talk. hope you tune in next week.
Transcribed by https://otter.ai